I love to smoke, had to quit

I enjoyed my cigarettes but was shamed, cajoled, derided and finally financially penalized by my employer to quit smoking. I recall Eric Clapton saying in his memoir that this was his hardest habit to break, harder than morphine and cocaine.

My wife gave me an audio book I enjoyed even though I laughed at its title: Allen Carr's Easyway To Stop Smoking. Its seven steps were basically prep, pick a date, and stop poisoning yourself (also known as "cold turkey"). Nothing is easy, Allen, but I did enjoy the book because it was compelling and helped to hear the British narrator communicate the author's disdain for smoking. There was reason among the colorful words and metaphors.

As a smoker, even though I was responsible and careful not to offend, pollute, or flaunt it in front of nonsmokers and kids, I was a veritable pariah. The scarlet letter came in the form of a constant harangue from ex-smokers, who are the worst about it, of course. I am aided by a QuitCoach (American Cancer Society?) paid for by my employer, a prescription for Chantix, and e-cigs. I gave my coach a 9 out of 10 probability of success because I prepped for it and have a desire to get healthier as I age. My lifelong asthma would flare up badly if I binged on cigs and I would gasp for air. That's no way to live.

Nevertheless, the smoker's life "style" still, and will always, appeals to me. I love the way burning tobacco smells and how Americans turned this Indian native past-time into a huge industry where machines starting rolling perfect and delicious smoke sticks at a rate of hundreds a minute. The industry has evolved but the same machines from the 1940s and 50s are still used today. Plantations, such as they were, in South Carolina are now condos. I never thought of myself as a "slave" to tobacco; however, I will never forgive myself if I now become a health nut and someone who seemingly takes pleasure in admonishing someone to quit with a fervor that resembles the way evangelists insist you must be born again. If I get health or other kind of religion, maybe it won't be such a bad thing.

Here's to being smoke-free. I am now a former smoker.